A SEXUALLY-STARVED wife of Chilanga has complained to the Chawama Local Court that she cannot continue being married to a man who has continuously denied her sex for more than two years.
Mavis Chimowa, 31, told Senior Court Magistrates Sarah Nyendwa and Mubukwanu Matakala that she has not had sex with her husband Ken Phiri in two years and four months.
This was heard in a case in which Chimowa sued her husband Phiri, 34, for divorce. The two got married in 1992 and have three children together. They, however, have been on separation for a month.
Chimowa told the court that any effort on her part to initiate sex with her husband is rejected or ignored.
“The main reason I have brought my husband here is because we have not had sex for two years, four months. Each time I try to arouse him, he tells me he is tired. He has been too tired to make love to me for the past two years,” she said.
She said she had complained to his relatives about his behaviour but they told her to be more tolerant with Phiri yet they are also aware that he engages in extra-marital affairs.
“It has been hell being married to this man especially after my parents died. In the early days of our marriage, he would even bring his girlfriends home. But I tolerated it because I was counselled to be tolerant as a wife,” Chimowa said.
She said Phiri has even stopped sponsoring his three children to school as well as providing other necessities.
“When I travelled to the village for a funeral, he was upset and upon my return packed my belongings and that of the children and took me to my grandmother’s home. I am now tired of his behaviour, I just want a divorce,” Chimowa said.
But in his statement, Phiri told the court problems in their marriage started a few months ago when he discovered empty packs of family planning pills and receipts. He said he wondered why she would decide to be on family planning without consulting him especially that he was still interested in having more children.
He said a few months later she decided to travel for a funeral without informing him and stayed away for more than one month.
“I went to her grandmother’s place but she said she had not seen her. I searched for her at her relatives’ places that I could think of but to no avail. Then one of my friends told me that they had seen her in Linda township,” he said.
Phiri said when they finally met at her grandmother’s place, Chimowa refused to go back to her matrimonial home, saying she was fed up with the marriage.
“I begged her for a month but she refused to come home with me so I gave up. However, that does not mean I do not love her because I still do and want her to still be my wife,” he said.
Passing judgment, the court granted divorce noting that there was no love, no communication and no sex between the couple especially that they have not been intimate for more than two years.
Phiri was ordered to pay Chimowa K5,000 as compensation starting with an initial payment of K500 end of May to be followed by monthly instalments of K250. Custody of the children was granted to Chimowa while Phiri was granted visitation rights. He was also ordered to pay K350 as child maintenance monthly starting April month end.